An incident with her daughter sparks Sarah’s feelings of anger and powerlessness. Doug helps her draw the link to her emotional experience in the cult. Sarah is able to stay with her emotions rather than intellectualize them or try to fix the situation. They begin processing the feelings in session that she’s been holding onto most of her life.

Sarah tells the story of her life as a teenager after escaping the cult she grew up in as a child. Doug helps her see where some patterns started with her only focusing right in front of her, staying hyper vigilant, and never dropping the ball or giving up control.

As a sign of vulnerability, trust, and the safe space of therapy, Sarah allows herself to cry in session and feel the loss of her cousin. Doug helps her stay with the feelings and express what is coming up for her in these initial stages of grief.

Doug and his mom open with a discussion about multiple personality disorder and her previous work in therapy with clients coming out of cults. In the session, Sarah acknowledges never allowing herself to fully feel the anger she’s held onto from her own upbringing in a cult.

For this episode we check in with Drew, the client from Season 1 whose episodes are continuing on Patreon.com (link below). Drew wants to be doing more to do less, as he copes with the stress of his recent heart attack. Drew processes his parents not showing up to support him the way he needs and wants them. Speaking of which, Doug is supported on the breakdown by a special guest therapist – his mom!

Sarah describes taking herself through worst case scenarios to prepare herself for a situation, so she can avoid the shock and broken heart that might otherwise overwhelm her. That protective mechanism once served her, but now creates a disconnect from her actual emotional experience of life...

Doug helps Sarah process grief in real time after she just learned of a family member’s failing health while in the hospital. Sarah is able to acknowledge having different feelings spiraling at the same time right now. Doug walks with her through some of the stages of grief that are actively coming up in the session - shock, denial, guilt, bargaining, and anger.

Doug helps Sarah acknowledge that she is actively creating new neural pathways by doing things differently from her patterned way of being and doing. Sarah gives herself permission to see the changes in her behavior this past week as growth and progress in her therapeutic journey – it’s not just a fluke!

We explore Sarah’s conditioning from her upbringing in the Children of God cult. “Trauma is a radioactive spider that bites.” It can lead you to develop powers of protection and systems of safety for your survival. Then we’ve got to learn what to do with that power because we might not need those defenses and protections in our life anymore at every moment. We also explore the idea of value – especially as it impacts self-worth.

We explore the “systems of safety” that Sarah developed as a child growing up in a cult to protect herself because no one else did. We can thank those defense mechanisms for doing such a good job of protecting us when a threat was real. We needed them to survive and now we need to say goodbye to them in order to thrive...

Sarah feels righteous anger about a coworker that was let go. Doug helps her see that it’s a trigger for her own traumatic past when people in power abuse that power and wrong others. When it’s on someone else’s behalf, Sarah has insulation, protection, and deflection from her own wounds, making it easier to take up a quest for justice. She is able to draw the link to her own history of being wronged and abused by people in power in the cult and her previous marriage and jobs.

Sarah felt validated and valued at work this week after a triggering annual review last week. Doug and Sarah explore how what she calls nonsense can make perfect sense to others. They break down issues of control and accountability. Sarah unpacks how her vigilance that others follow the rules is conditioning from her childhood in the cult.

Sarah got triggered by a review at work which leads to an exploration of deeper issues. Doug helps her express anger and frustration about being powerless and misrepresented, especially when someone of authority is in control.

Doug redefines work-life balance: it’s a balance of work, rest, and play that are all under the umbrella of life. Sarah examines “play” in her life. She connects the hyper vigilance of being ‘mama bear’ for everyone around her to the trauma response that protects her from slowing down or stopping to feel the feelings.

Doug is on location in New York discovering the quiet, nature side of the city. Sarah and Doug dissect the associations she’s held in her head with being a trauma survivor and with being a victim. Sarah explores some recent triggers and exercises having compassion for the younger version of herself that was traumatized.

As Sarah talks about a stressful work relationship, Doug slows her down and helps her process being a trauma survivor. They examine how Sarah’s system learned to protect her from complex trauma in the past and how it still affects her current relationships.

In an emotional session, Sarah vents about an issue she’s having with a coworker. This leads Doug to look deeper inside for what’s really going on with her. As he helps Sarah slow down in the session, she takes a deep breath and feels the emotional weight of stress she’s been holding and keeping inside.

Doug and Mer talk comets and cults while Doug corrects an earlier comment that the cult leader in Sarah’s case was caught - he wasn’t! He lived in hiding for over twenty years until he died. Sarah talks about school and education growing up in the cult. She explains the massive confusion and the ensuing tragedies experienced by many around her in the aftermath of leaving the cult.

Mer acknowledges Doug for his emotional and personal music album coming out in a few weeks; and then she gives him guff for not getting the podcast’s Patreon launched yet! It’s coming soon with ongoing Drew episodes and other exclusives for subscribers. In this session with Sarah, Doug helps her look at the inner critic that fuels perfectionism. This is often a trauma response from her growing up in an abusive cult with neglectful parenting.

Meredith imparts some knowledge to Doug (and us!) about invalidation trauma after a recent training. We get to know more about Sarah in her session as she talks about her work, her upbringing in the cult, and her anxiety that she carries around with her still. Doug helps Sarah understand the connection of making herself indispensable to a historic fear of abandonment.

Meredith updates us on the intruder in her backyard - who came back again! We continue the new season with Sarah, in spite of a few audio hiccups in the session. Doug and Sarah talk about feeling frustrated, annoyed, and overwhelmed when others don’t get to a solution as quickly and easily as you do, especially when that means you take it on and do it all yourself. This has been a part of Sarah for so long as a survival mechanism growing up in, and running away from, a cult. Doug and Mer highlight the process of helping clients like Sarah recognize and begin to change their patterns, rather than stay focused on the details and the content of their current narrative.

***Trigger warning*** This episode contains potentially triggering and sensitive topics including child abuse. If you suspect or know that a child is being abused or neglected, call or text 800-4-A-CHILD (800-422-4453). Professional crisis counselors are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in over 170 languages. All calls are confidential. The new season continues with the second therapy session for Sarah, the new client in treatment with Doug. As they explore Sarah’s parenting style, she begins to tell some of her own story about growing up in a cult...

We’re baa-ack! In this new season kick off, Doug and Meredith are “a step up from sweatpants” and ready to dive back into it with us. We hear the first session with Doug and Sarah, the new client we’ll get to know and join for the journey in therapy. Sarah shares some of her history and acknowledges that she’s spent a lifetime compartmentalizing, but doesn’t truly have a handle on everything. We hear a few tips of the icebergs that have developed over time for her coming from a traumatic background. The groundwork for therapy is being set and we all get to follow along from the start!

In this Roundtable episode, Doug and Meredith are joined by fellow therapist Ashley McGirt and therapist in training Sahaj Kohli for a conversation about cultural issues in mental health and the world around us. The conversation explores stigma, discomforts, comforts, and experiences of issues around culture in their lives and work in mental health.

In this Roundtable episode, Doug and Meredith are joined by fellow therapist José Mata and psychiatrist Dr. Craig Heacock, both of whom work with the intersection of psychedelics and therapy. They look at current trends, research, and experiences of healing with the assistance of certain substances like MDMA, Ketamine, Ayahuasca, and Psilocybin. Join Doug and Mer for a unique conversation with these colleagues in the growing world of psychedelic assisted therapy.

Mer Mer launches herself into another dimension with Oculus, and this reminds Doug of a time when he was immersed in a virtual reality Star Wars experience. The session begins with Drew feeling a little down that he hasn’t lived up to the financial or material standard set by his father...

Mer Mer keeps her mind fresh and young by doing Sudoku. She and Doug give the update that they still have yet to shut down their computers at the end of each work day. Then, a very packed session with Drew uncovers a few big reasons why he has trust issues. Drew eases his burden by sharing some stories he’s never told before...

At the top of the show this week, Doug busts himself and Meredith for not following through AGAIN on shutting down their computers at night! They swap teenage closet stories (including Doug’s roaches!). The session begins with Drew sharing that he is moving back to a place in LA that he has lived before. He feels grateful for the comfort and familiarity of it, rather than feeling like he is taking a step backwards...

Joining Doug and Meredith to break down the 5 Love Languages and Apology is clinical psychologist Dr. Jen Thomas. She is a motivational speaker specializing in the five love languages and communication. She is the co-author with Gary Chapman of When Sorry Isn’t Enough and The Five Languages of Apology. We talk about understanding and applying the 5 Love Languages to yourself and your relationships. We also dive into the language of apology. What’s your main Love Language? How do you say, and hear, I’m Sorry?

This week, Drew is realizing that sooner than later, his parents will no longer be financially supporting him. Not only is he nervous about being able to pay for everything, he’s worried that once his parents no longer have an obligation to support him, they won’t choose to be as connected to him...

*** Warning - this episode contains potentially triggering and sensitive topics, including sexual assault. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1800-646-4673 or go to RAINN.org.*** Drew shares his thoughts and feelings about an extremely disturbing and traumatic event. The details are not 100% clear, however his initial description was that his girlfriend was “raped and essentially kidnapped.”...

While we all start to come out of the pandemic lockdown, Drew and his girlfriend are starting to come out of the honeymoon phase. In their relationship reality, running out of toilet paper becomes a symbol for so much more. Drew and Doug talk about setting boundaries vs. giving rules...

Doug and Meredith are joined by Rebecca to break down the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. We get some history of this Carl Jung inspired psychological test for how people experience the world. Rebecca uses Mer and Doug’s test results to show how you can understand and apply it to your own life. Take the recommended test yourself in the links below. What’s your type? Let us know!

Meredith swims a mile then she and Doug talk about Justice League. And the superhero talk continues with Drew taking to a Superman analogy - balancing the daily grind of a day job with using his own time to focus on his passions. Drew shows vulnerability with his girlfriend...

Meredith loves daylight saving time! Restaurants and movie theatres are opening up in LA now, but Doug is still trying to hide out like a mountain man. In Drew’s therapy session he talks about feeling burnt out and tired from his job. He is also using this time to define his boundaries and let people know when things aren’t right or fair. He and Doug talk about two examples of Drew standing up for himself - one work related, and a personal one that triggered a familiar feeling of distrust and disappointment that he’s historically felt with his Mom. Drew is working on radically accepting his mother for who she is, while dealing with her tendency to not be present or emotionally available.

Meredith and Doug discuss their take on working with clients that have different political views and ideologies than their own. It’s a great jumping off point for this week’s session. Drew is trying to be the bridge for people in his life dealing with racial injustice and prejudice. Drew talks about compartmentalizing when feeling overwhelmed and anxious...

Doug is back in LA and missing the mountains. Meredith realizes it may be time for all of us to get a car wash (especially Doug!). In the session, Drew and Doug get into a heavy conversation as Drew details how a party with his new girlfriend went way wrong...

The podcast hits the one year mark this week… and it’s a twofer! Two sessions in one episode as life in the podcast timeline is starting to go virtual in the very beginning of the pandemic. Doug and Drew pack a lot into these two shorter sessions...

Spiritual practitioner Crystal Duan joins Doug and Meredith to break down Astrology. We talk about understanding the language of it as well as both the pseudoscience and its real life applications. Crystal uses Astrological charts for Mer and Doug to show how you can apply it to your life and relationships. What’s your sign? And your moon, and your rising sign?

Before Drew’s session this week, Meredith and Doug give a wrap up of their Valentine's Day experiences, Drew talks about going home for his friend’s funeral; and he walks through both the horror movie version and Disney version of how the weekend could go. Doug helps Drew identify how he can show up authentically rather than trying to match his online persona or a more people-pleasing version of himself...

Doug took Meredith’s pillow washing challenge and he took her movie recommendation! They figure out why we call a podcast a podcast. The session begins with Drew dealing with emotions that are stirred up as he prepares to go home for a friend’s funeral. He works with Doug on sticking with his personal boundaries, dealing with the feeling of betrayal from his mother, and learning how to disappoint people without feeling extreme guilt or shame...

It’s a busy and eventful show this week, kicking off with Doug’s second mountain lion sighting - this time it’s a baby! Meredith gives her thoughts on outdoor dining reopening in Los Angeles. The session begins with Drew telling Doug about the three main motivating factors in life that he heard about in church...

Certified Enneagram coach Abbey Howe joins Doug and Meredith to break down the Enneagram. We walk through some of its history and ways to understand and apply it to yourself. Abbey takes us through an interpretation of Mer and Doug’s results from the Enneagram type quiz. Take the quiz yourself and let us know what Enneagram number you are - and how you’ll use the info!

Doug and Meredith roar into this week with a recount of Doug’s mountain lion visitor while Mer has been washing her dishes and feeling soooo good and accomplished. Drew’s session comes at the one year anniversary of Kobe Bryant’s death, which stirs up emotions for Drew about loss. Drew gives an update on seeing his longtime ex-girlfriend...

Drew picks up where he left off last week, back from the holidays and feeling somewhat unmotivated and withdrawn. In the session, Drew and Doug discuss the difference between feeling depressed and a depressive episode. They talk about Drew’s need to withdraw and how it might be exactly what he needs at this moment, as he works on being okay with himself, instead of trying to please others...

Doug and Meredith kick off this week’s episode talking about how living in LA during a pandemic feels like a zombie movie. They also touch on how lack of good sleep can affect us. In the session, Drew talks about the loss of his friend and questions how he can better cope with grief...

Doug and Meredith talk about broken toes, wind chimes, and maintaining confidentiality even when a client shares a crime they committed. In the session, Drew is back from his brother’s wedding and preparing to head home for a visit. Drew is noticing some major changes in himself, such as being scared as well as excited for the unknown...

In this special New Years Eve mini-sode, Doug and Meredith say goodbye to 2020 and look ahead to 2021. They give their two cents about resolutions and intentions for the new year. They share three words to summarize their 2020 and three words for the intentions they're setting for 2021. What are three words that summarize your 2020? What are three words for the intentions you're setting for 2021? Let us know!

This week was already going to be special with the wedding, but the fact that it’s Meredith’s birthday makes it even more fun! Meredith talks running and putt-putt golf while Doug reveals that he went to the Junior Olympics! In the session, Drew is back from his brother’s wedding. He shares some awkward family moments that weren’t so awkward to him now...

Doug and Meredith kick off the episode talking about cute cows, amaaaaazing smelling wreaths, and giant Christmas trees. The session begins with Drew’s literal worst fear coming true - his mother relapsing...

Meredith kicks off the show talking about her love of dogs wearing boots. Doug has been keeping busy with audiobooks on the Colorado trails. In the session, Doug and Drew focus on getting ready for his brother’s upcoming wedding. Drew talks about his new possible love interest and some of the patterns that he notices coming up...

Doug and Meredith kick off the Thanksgiving episode with a new spin on gratitude - they name some things they are both Grateful and Hateful for right now. One thing Doug is certainly grateful for is how self-aware Drew is in this episode. Drew’s learning to just be present for all of life’s adventures, even the boring ones. Doug and Drew discuss his brother’s upcoming wedding and his new role as an usher...

This week, Doug shares an update on his Colorado trip and names his top three pet peeves about snowy weather. Meredith gears up for a ski trip and wonders how rushed her hot toddy time will be. In the session, Doug and Drew talk about the Adventure vs. Challenge mentality, and how Drew can benefit by softening up and enjoying the experience of his brother’s wedding without any expectations...

This week, Doug and Meredith are back at it to kick off Season 2 with Andrew. Doug talks about his road trip into the mountains of Colorado while Meredith talks about the trials and tribulations of her vegetable garden. In the session, Drew recognizes some familiar patterns of behavior with his mom while his brother’s wedding is fast approaching...

In this special bonus episode, Doug and Meredith share their personal stories with grief over the past two years. It’s been almost two years to the date since the sudden death of Doug’s wife and the death of Meredith’s mom. They share their stories with vulnerability and resilience...

This week, Doug and Meredith take us through Wyatt’s story. Wyatt is a previous client of Doug’s that has experienced severe trauma. He had a sudden brain aneurysm and cancer. This is his story of endurance, awareness, and healing.

In this bonus Roundtable episode, Meredith and Doug are joined by fellow therapists Mona Valeriano and Jessica Kramer. They look at different ways of approaching trauma and therapy from their training and experience....

In this Insight Out bonus episode, Meredith and Doug are joined by fellow therapist and listener, Mary Tobon. Doug and Meredith share their insights and give their answers to your questions!

This week, Doug and Meredith reflect on the first six months of the podcast as we reach the end of season one with Drew. In the session, you’ll hear clips from a few recent sessions with Doug and Drew hitting the six month mark of their work. Drew shares his thoughts about the podcast coming out and his perspectives after hearing the first episode...

This week, Doug and Meredith talk about the sensationalism of Bambi and how seeing traumatic events can be very impactful. In the session, Drew says he’s been future tripping and past tripping - and not being present in the here and now...

This week, Doug and Meredith talk about fireworks, dad jokes, and great movies from their days as younguns. In the session, Drew acknowledges his growth in treatment, and with a little self reflection, he admits he is not very motivated right now...

This week, Doug showered with his dog and Meredith shared her excitement about tennis lessons, her bird feeder, and getting ready to watch The Matrix. In the session, Drew feels excitement about the unknown in front of him as well as some unsettled feelings...

This week, Doug and Meredith talk about the highs and lows of watching their dogs on webcams, as well as the joys of home repair, toilet hygiene, and tushie cushies. In the session, Drew connects a long standing fear of losing mom with how he tries to keep people in his life, even if it compromises or sacrifices his integrity and boundaries...

This week, Doug and Meredith talk about how our relationship with time can create pressure and affect our level of stress. In the session, Drew continues to process his recent breakup and he feels a definite shift in perspective. He shows more strength in carving his own path and making his own choices...

This week, Meredith retreats to Lake Tahoe and Doug is entertaining his dog at home. In the session, Drew moves around different stages of grief and loss after his breakup. He acknowledges there’s baggage he’s been carrying with him that pre-dates his ex-girlfriend....

This week, Doug and Meredith ‘monkee’ around a bit and reference a handful of classic movies from their youth - showing how old and adorbs they are! In the session, Doug and Drew continue to process the breakup and move through different stages of grief and loss. Drew starts to reconnect with his friends for support...

This week, Doug and Meredith discuss the routine and comfort of going to a therapist’s office as a physical space not just a virtual room. Meredith updates us on her US geography skills. In the session, Drew’s issues of trust in the relationship are pushed to the edge, leading to a breakup...

This week, Mer and Doug are coping with quarantine and testing their geography skills with a US map quiz. In the session, Drew’s last day at work is coming up and he has nothing going on, which makes him feel anxious...

This week, Mer and Doug are doing ‘fair’ and ‘corona good’ in spite of a burnt tongue and a kitschy therapist pillow. In the session, Drew feels good having put in his two week notice. He can feel himself slowing down and letting go of a lot - and he hasn’t had a night terror in weeks!...

This week, Meredith goes down the rabbit hole of tequila and zoom filters. She joins Doug for a walk down the memory lane of their worst old hairstyles. In the client session, Andrew goes on a work trip to Vegas where issues come up with his girlfriend - in part because the relationship is not out in the open. Doug and Andrew look at issues of validation and control...

This week, Doug and Meredith remind us about getting out of our comfort zone and experiencing the cool things there are to do - regardless of quarantine (like glow in the dark seaweed!). In the session, Drew looks at what’s next after getting the support of his parents and putting in his two weeks notice at work. Doug and Drew look at how issues from his past relationships have shaped how he approaches his current one. Drew is starting to recognize triggers and see the path to breaking old patterns.

This week, Doug and Meredith talk about adjustments they’ve been making during this pandemic time. The client, Andrew, feels the benefits of putting in the hard work and letting raw emotions come up and out...

Doug and Meredith acknowledge passing the month mark of quarantine and note some good things that have come out of this experience. In the client session, we see how important it is to have trust between a therapist and client. Andrew gets raw and emotional while talking about his girlfriend, and Doug helps him stay with the emotions instead of run away from them...

This week, Doug and Meredith talk about how the “thing” itself is usually not that bad, it’s the lead up to it that creates fear and anxiety. They highlight this with a story of Doug trying not to get wet on a hike then slipping on a log and splashing into a stream; and Meredith going to the dentist. Andrew has some issues of abandonment triggered by his current relationship, creating uncertainty and anxiety for him...

In this Insight Out bonus minisode, Doug and Meredith give us a brief look at the basics of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). They break down some key aspects of these types of treatment and how they use these approaches in their work as therapists.

In this episode, Doug and Meredith talk about finding self confidence, compassion for self, and having a support system - while also being okay with being alone. Doug and his client, Andrew, explore Andrew’s challenges with anxiety about his relationship, and the interdependence he needs in order to feel safe and loveable.

In this pre-Corona virus episode, Doug and Meredith talk about fires, mountains, Coachella and bubble gum. Doug’s client Andrew checks in about the guilt he is feeling towards not having a conversation yet with his estranged brother, as his brother’s bachelor party weekend approaches...

This week, we talk about the connection between knowing it and feeling it, and the difference between a human being and a human doing. Doug and Andrew dive deeper into his decision about going to his brother’s bachelor party.

This week, Doug and Meredith talk about what came up in Andrew’s recent sessions — Star Wars, jealousy, and male strippers, of course. Andrew shares a bad nightmare that caused a lot of anxiety...

In a special Insight Out bonus minisode during this Covid quarantine, Doug and Meredith connect with each other (and you) from their own homes. They share some thoughts about the ‘panic’ in the middle of this pan-dem-ic. They also reach into the YMB Mailbag to read a listener question about bodily functions in session!

This week, Doug and Meredith tell us about when therapy in their past has sometimes gone wrong (or ineffective). Andrew and Doug dig more into the upcoming wedding of Andrew’s brother, and whether it’s his choice or obligation to go...

For a bonus mini-sode this week in a series we’re calling Insight Out, Doug and Meredith introduce us to some of the more common Cognitive Distortions.

This week, Doug and Meredith dig deeper into Doug’s use of sweet analogies (hello car gears and Harry Potter!) and discuss reframing the difference between choice and obligation. Andrew’s session reveals where he is currently with the idea of attending his estranged brother’s bachelor party, and he and Doug work on expressing vulnerability and reframing the narrative to work better for him.

For a special bonus episode this week, Doug and Meredith are joined by their friends and colleagues; John Sovec and Bonnie Rae, both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists. They have an open and honest conversation about topics such as...

Andrew and Doug work on organizing fractured thoughts into a clearer picture of reality, dig deeper into Andrew’s relationship with his mom and brother, and talk about ways Andrew can be more of his own individual person while still having the support of his parents.

Session three includes Andrew opening up about traumatic incidents that contributed to the strained relationships with both his brother and mother. Doug introduces some tools to practice changing our perspective, and in turn, our experience using both real-life examples and analogies.

This week, Doug and Meredith reminisce about Doug’s parachute pants and MerDog’s love of Megadeth. Then, they talk about how to know when a session is over, taking notes, and how they prevent burnout.

Welcome to Your Mental Breakdown, hosted by Doug Friedman and Meredith Levy. It’s a psychotherapy entertainment podcast featuring two licensed therapists as real people with real sessions with a client that you follow along the process of personal growth and healing in therapy.

Welcome to Your Mental Breakdown. Introducing Doug Friedman and Meredith Levy, both licensed psychotherapists, longtime friends, and the co-hosts of this podcast. These episodes will feature one of their client’s actual therapy session, so you can follow along with their progress as it’s happening, in real time. In each episode, Doug and Meredith will break down the session afterwards.