Doug and Meredith roar into this week with a recount of Doug’s mountain lion visitor while Mer has been washing her dishes and feeling soooo good and accomplished. Drew’s session comes at the one year anniversary of Kobe Bryant’s death, which stirs up emotions for Drew about loss. Drew gives an update on seeing his longtime ex-girlfriend. Doug helps Drew explore having tough conversations with people you love. Doug gives a Matrix reference about knowing your path vs. walking your path. At the end of the session, Drew uncovers a big “aha moment” about why he really tries to save others.
Bonnie is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles. She is an instructor for graduate students in the LGBT Specialization Psychology program at Antioch University. Although her specialty is working with the LGBTQ community and people in the entertainment industry, she also assists clients in managing and/or overcoming anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, painful relationship patterns, creative blocks, co-dependency, love and sex addiction, issues with intimacy and low self-esteem.
Bonnie received a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from Emerson College and a Masters in Clinical Psychology degree from Antioch University with a specialization in LGBT psychology.
Doug Friedman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has spent nearly 20 years working with adults, adolescents and families with issues ranging from depression and anxiety to substance abuse, bipolar disorder and PTSD. He has supervised a program at a community mental health agency that serves severely emotionally disturbed youth and their families in Los Angeles. He continues to provide clinical supervision to therapists and associates in his private group practice, Clear Mind Full Heart in Los Angeles.
Doug received a Masters in Social Work from The Catholic University of America and a BA in Study of Religion from UCLA. Before becoming a psychotherapist, Doug worked for a music management company that oversaw bands like Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys, and Bonnie Raitt. Doug is also the artist and songwriter behind all the music heard on the podcast.
Meredith Levy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Over the last ten years she has worked with many different populations, and feels most at home working in addiction, personality disorders and mood disorders. Meredith specializes in Dialectical
Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Meredith worked with inner-city youth as a bi-lingual therapist for the Department of Mental Health in Los Angeles County. Not only has Meredith worked at a variety of different drug and alcohol treatment centers throughout California, she was also the co- founder of a large treatment facility in Northern California.
Meredith's extensive education and background as an attorney and an MBA gives her a unique perspective and a fresh approach to elevating personal growth. In addition, she is a certified yoga instructor and believes that the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of the self are important components of the therapeutic process.
[1:53] Doug had a mountain lion visit outside his back door! Luckily for him and his dog, they were able to keep socially distanced!
[5:34] Don’t even get Meredith started on linens - you all are regularly washing your sheets, mattress pad, and the WHOLE pillow, right? Right?
[7:26] Session Begins.
[9:35] Drew is getting better at starting tough conversations, but still worried that it will open a floodgate of emotions. Seeing Shaq’s reaction to Kobe’s death really showed him that time is fleeting and it’s important to let people know how much you care while we’re all here.
[10:02] Doug goes all Matrix and talks about the difference between knowing your path and walking your path.
[11:50] Drew is doing one thing at a time these days. He notices this with both the little things like washing his dishes, as well as larger things like having conversations with his mom, and interviewing for a new job.
[16:04] Drew is thinking more about what he wants to do in life - and doing it, instead of waiting for others to give him permission.
[16:58] Drew talks about seeing his old girlfriend and how it stirred up emotions. He had a lot of fun and they have a ton of history, but he doesn’t want to mislead her (or himself).
[21:17] Doug talks about enjoying the companionship of others vs. being codependent and having someone around to try and patch up loneliness.
[24:33] Drew likens trusting when his mom says she’ll get clean to a magic show - he sees bits and pieces on the surface, but knows there’s a different truth behind the curtain. He and Doug discuss that maybe Drew is actually lying to himself by not acknowledging that truth.
[31:20] Doug walks Drew through realizing that by saving others he is really trying to save his mom. Drew goes one step further and realizes that by saving his mom he thinks it will really save himself.
[34:39] Doug helps Drew realize that he can’t keep trying to save others when he needs to be rescued sometimes too.
[36:30] Session ends.
[38:13] Meredith and Doug reflect on one year since Kobe’s passing. The shock and sadness of it stirred up emotions and grief in many people.
[41:10] Doug talks about the empty chair exercise as a means of role-playing what you would say to someone. It can stir up anger and sadness but is an effective way to bring up what’s hiding underneath.
[45:02] Meredith loves the magic show analogy and the canoe analogy as a way for Drew to see that he needs to take care of himself before spending all his energy helping others.
[50:40] Meredith relates more to needing to be rescued rather than needing to be saved.
[53:50] Meredith finds it impressive that Drew is mature enough to think of the ramifications that would go along with leading on his old girlfriend. Drew is applying choice vs. obligation in several areas of his life while he works on his sense of self.
[56:05] We often revise history with our exes to make things seem better than they actually were!
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