The Boy With the Bubble

Drew #38
Published on
Feb 11, 2021
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In this episode...

Doug took Meredith’s pillow washing challenge and he took her movie recommendation! They figure out why we call a podcast a podcast. The session begins with Drew dealing with emotions that are stirred up as he prepares to go home for a friend’s funeral. He works with Doug on sticking with his personal boundaries, dealing with the feeling of betrayal from his mother, and learning how to disappoint people without feeling extreme guilt or shame. Drew explores his patterns in relationships as he preps to see his old girlfriend back home. He also comes to terms with the possibility that his brother acted the way he did growing up because he was trying to protect Drew, rather than control him.


Kenzie Jenest
Bonnie Rae

Bonnie is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles. She is an instructor for graduate students in the LGBT Specialization Psychology program at Antioch University. Although her specialty is working with the LGBTQ community and people in the entertainment industry, she also assists clients in managing and/or overcoming anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, painful relationship patterns, creative blocks, co-dependency, love and sex addiction, issues with intimacy and low self-esteem.

Bonnie received a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from Emerson College and a Masters in Clinical Psychology degree from Antioch University with a specialization in LGBT psychology.

Doug Friedman

Doug Friedman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has spent nearly 20 years working with adults, adolescents and families with issues ranging from depression and anxiety to substance abuse, bipolar disorder and PTSD. He has supervised a program at a community mental health agency that serves severely emotionally disturbed youth and their families in Los Angeles. He continues to provide clinical supervision to therapists and associates in his private group practice, Clear Mind Full Heart in Los Angeles.

Doug received a Masters in Social Work from The Catholic University of America and a BA in Study of Religion from UCLA. Before becoming a psychotherapist, Doug worked for a music management company that oversaw bands like Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys, and Bonnie Raitt. Doug is also the artist and songwriter behind all the music heard on the podcast.

Meredith Levy

Meredith Levy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Over the last ten years she has worked with many different populations, and feels most at home working in addiction, personality disorders and mood disorders. Meredith specializes in Dialectical
Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Meredith worked with inner-city youth as a bi-lingual therapist for the Department of Mental Health in Los Angeles County. Not only has Meredith worked at a variety of different drug and alcohol treatment centers throughout California, she was also the co- founder of a large treatment facility in Northern California.

Meredith's extensive education and background as an attorney and an MBA gives her a unique perspective and a fresh approach to elevating personal growth. In addition, she is a certified yoga instructor and believes that the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of the self are important components of the therapeutic process.

Key Takeaways

[2:18] Doug took Meredith’s recommendations - he finally saw the movie Coco (loved it!) and washed his pillows and has never felt so fluff-filled! 

[5:35] Often our anxiety about something happening can be much more stressful than the actual thing itself. Doug talks about a client that used to be super scared of bees, then after he actually got stung , he realized it wasn’t as bad as the fear about it made him think. 

[7:06] Meredith is fearful of going down escalators and balloons popping, which Doug relates to with his fear of guitar strings popping! 

[11:28] Session Begins. 

[13:01] Drew is learning how to be his authentic self and says that he feels totally like himself in sessions with Doug. He also acknowledges that out in the world he can only get to about 70% of his authentic nature before he shuts off or closes down. 

[16:05] Drew talks about going home and his decision to not stay at his parents house. While he does want to see his mom, he wants to make sure he has an out. Doug reminds Drew that one of the secrets of life is that you create your own outs. 

[18:24] Drew is working on setting boundaries for going home. He and Doug talk about setting up his own “bubble” of personal space.  Drew can have control in the situation by having boundaries and stating he doesn’t want to talk about certain things, or just say “no thank you” to certain questions. 

[21:47] Drew feels betrayed by his mother after she told his dad something he had asked to be private. It brings up an old wound of betrayal by mom and the familiar feelings that he can’t trust anyone. 

[24:32] Drew dives into his old false narrative about not being good enough; and that if he was better his mother and brother would have acted differently. 

[26:49] Drew explores the idea that maybe his brother acted the way he did to protect himself and attempt to protect Drew. 

[30:49] Doug and Drew discuss how we are going to inadvertently disappoint people in life, and it usually doesn’t feel great to let our loved ones down. There is power in simply recognizing this, and not acting on the need to mend things or avoid disappointment. 

[34:00] It can feel a little weird when you start setting boundaries. Drew’s confidence will grow the more he knows he sets his boundaries and feels competent handling potentially uncomfortable situations. 

[37:59] Session Ends. 

[38:25] Doug knocked it out of the analogy park with his explanation of preventative mental health - and how a mental health check up is just as important as a tune up for our car or an annual doctor's visit. 

[42:50] Meredith and Doug discuss how although Drew can’t control what his mom is going to do, he is making strides of realizing that he can “take his bubble somewhere else” if people are invading or disrespecting it. 

[46:50] Doug explains how Drew is triggered by any betrayal from his mom and that it touches on a lifetime accumulation of feeling betrayed by her. This might require a deep conversation about her neglect and issues in the past - something Drew says he is not emotionally ready for this yet. 

[47:22] Meredith relates to Drew sharing the exciting news with his mom about a dream job offer in NYC - and her response of crying and saying he can’t move to New York. 

[54:34] Meredith noted that Drew has been more comfortable with his own self-worth and is sleeping better with less anxiety. 

[56:40] Meredith and Doug both liked a quote from Drew’s father: “You can lie to everybody else but you can’t lie to yourself.”

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