Can I Get a Witness?

Drew #37
Published on
Feb 4, 2021
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In this episode...

It’s a busy and eventful show this week, kicking off with Doug’s second mountain lion sighting - this time it’s a baby! Meredith gives her thoughts on outdoor dining reopening in Los Angeles. The session begins with Drew telling Doug about the three main motivating factors in life that he heard about in church. They explore how this can lead us to find our purpose in life. Doug and Drew also talk about compassion fatigue and accepting being perfectly imperfect. Drew is balancing being by himself while still enjoying the company of others.


Kenzie Jenest
Bonnie Rae

Bonnie is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles. She is an instructor for graduate students in the LGBT Specialization Psychology program at Antioch University. Although her specialty is working with the LGBTQ community and people in the entertainment industry, she also assists clients in managing and/or overcoming anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, painful relationship patterns, creative blocks, co-dependency, love and sex addiction, issues with intimacy and low self-esteem.

Bonnie received a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from Emerson College and a Masters in Clinical Psychology degree from Antioch University with a specialization in LGBT psychology.

Doug Friedman

Doug Friedman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has spent nearly 20 years working with adults, adolescents and families with issues ranging from depression and anxiety to substance abuse, bipolar disorder and PTSD. He has supervised a program at a community mental health agency that serves severely emotionally disturbed youth and their families in Los Angeles. He continues to provide clinical supervision to therapists and associates in his private group practice, Clear Mind Full Heart in Los Angeles.

Doug received a Masters in Social Work from The Catholic University of America and a BA in Study of Religion from UCLA. Before becoming a psychotherapist, Doug worked for a music management company that oversaw bands like Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys, and Bonnie Raitt. Doug is also the artist and songwriter behind all the music heard on the podcast.

Meredith Levy

Meredith Levy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Over the last ten years she has worked with many different populations, and feels most at home working in addiction, personality disorders and mood disorders. Meredith specializes in Dialectical
Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Meredith worked with inner-city youth as a bi-lingual therapist for the Department of Mental Health in Los Angeles County. Not only has Meredith worked at a variety of different drug and alcohol treatment centers throughout California, she was also the co- founder of a large treatment facility in Northern California.

Meredith's extensive education and background as an attorney and an MBA gives her a unique perspective and a fresh approach to elevating personal growth. In addition, she is a certified yoga instructor and believes that the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of the self are important components of the therapeutic process.

Key Takeaways

[0:43] Doug gives a wildlife update - there was a second mountain lion, but this time it was a baby. Awww... (ish).

[3:38] Mer finds it bizarre that restaurants in LA are reopening for outdoor dining right now. Doug finds out it’s a bizarre crime to leave a fridge or ice box outside with doors still on it. Can’t risk a child getting trapped inside! 

[7:50] Session Begins. 

[8:03] Drew discusses how a recent visit to church made him think about how much of his motivation and accomplishments have been for outward praise and attention. He and Doug discusses three different kinds of motivation: ego, economic, and internal. 

[10:50] Drew has spent so much of his life taking care of his mother and others, that it is now taking time to adjust to taking care of himself. 

[14:09] Our experience in life is a singular experience, but that doesn’t mean we have to do everything alone, or even feel isolated. Sharing our experience with others makes us feel connected to people and connected to life. 

[16:18] Drew feels burnt out - as though the days are flying by without feeling much payoff, purpose, or service. He and Doug discuss compassion fatigue and how it can show up both when we take care of others and nurture our own self too much. 

[18:39] Drew is smoking copious amounts of weed and he wants to get to the point where he doesn’t want it or need it as much. Compared to a nice glass of water that quenches our thirst, weed isn’t feeling very satisfying to Drew these days.  

[21:57] Doug helps Drew break down the cycle where he smokes weed, feels bad, gets even more depressed, and then stays in and smokes even more weed out of apathy or a lack of motivation. They talk about finding a sense of purpose so that Drew will want to get out of bed each morning and choose a different option. 

[26:50] Drew feels self conscious and embarrassed when he has physical reactions such as blushing, but he’s seeing that there is power showing up vulnerably just as he is. 

[29:31] Drew is realizing that perfection is boring, and being human is okay. 

[30:00] We love icons like Kobe Bryant not because they are perfect, but because of how relentlessly they pursue their passions. The key is enjoying what you are doing rather than being attached to the outcome after it’s done. 

[33:29] Session Ends. 

[36:45] Meredith hears the motivation and behavioral piece with Drew and would focus her work on the actual getting out of bed part. Doug explains how he is teasing out the incongruence between where Drew wants to be and where his daily habits will lead him. 

[43:20] Doug and Meredith talk about having shared experiences with others; and, how it can make your own individual experience better... Unless you are Meredith with her ex-boyfriend at a Coldplay concert! 

[50:40]  Meredith notes that Drew wants to control his need for weed rather than feeling like it will control him. The analogy of water quenching his thirst was a good one! 

[51:34] While Drew may feel like he is slacking in the success department, Meredith feels that he has had tangible factors of huge growth in the last several months! 

[55:15] As they discuss Drew blushing, they explain that we take back our power when we own our awkwardness! 

[56:48] It really is the journey, not the destination. Achieving is never enough. If you are focused on the pursuit, you get a deeper and more meaningful level of satisfaction.

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