Episode
43

I’ll Put Your Sh*tty Drawings on My Fridge

Andrew #44
Published on
Mar 18, 2021
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In this episode...

Meredith loves daylight saving time! Restaurants and movie theatres are opening up in LA now, but Doug is still trying to hide out like a mountain man. In Drew’s therapy session he talks about feeling burnt out and tired from his job. He is also using this time to define his boundaries and let people know when things aren’t right or fair...

Hosts

Doug Friedman

Doug Friedman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has spent nearly 20 years working with adults, adolescents and families with issues ranging from depression and anxiety to substance abuse, bipolar disorder and PTSD. He has supervised a program at a community mental health agency that serves severely emotionally disturbed youth and their families in Los Angeles. He continues to provide clinical supervision to therapists and associates in his private group practice, Clear Mind Full Heart in Los Angeles.

Doug received a Masters in Social Work from The Catholic University of America and a BA in Study of Religion from UCLA. Before becoming a psychotherapist, Doug worked for a music management company that oversaw bands like Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys, and Bonnie Raitt. Doug is also the artist and songwriter behind all the music heard on the podcast.

Meredith Levy

Meredith Levy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Over the last ten years she has worked with many different populations, and feels most at home working in addiction, personality disorders and mood disorders. Meredith specializes in Dialectical
Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Meredith worked with inner-city youth as a bi-lingual therapist for the Department of Mental Health in Los Angeles County. Not only has Meredith worked at a variety of different drug and alcohol treatment centers throughout California, she was also the co- founder of a large treatment facility in Northern California.

Meredith's extensive education and background as an attorney and an MBA gives her a unique perspective and a fresh approach to elevating personal growth. In addition, she is a certified yoga instructor and believes that the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of the self are important components of the therapeutic process.

Key Takeaways

[4:48] Meredith is fully vaxxed and happy about theaters opening back up in LA. Doug is avoiding people while trying to hold on to some of his mountain man hibernation. 

[8:31] Session Begins. 

[10:06] Drew is tired of his 9-5 job and feeling the effects of the constant grind while he also works towards his dream job. He and Doug talk about what “getting through” something really means.

[11:18] Drew and Doug explore setting and keeping boundaries in his work life and personal life. 

[13:02] One example is a woman that broke her agreement with Drew about trading a weekend at her Palm Springs house for him supplying an outfit for her son. Drew felt taken advantage of and disrespected; and, the situation triggered feelings about his mother going back on her word and breaking promises. 

[16:17] Drew says that now when he sees a red flag or even a caution flag, he doesn’t ignore it anymore. Doug explains the sadness that may come when we move away from the red flags and lose some friendships. 

[21:11] Drew shared clothes from his new work with his parents and his mom wasn’t present or engaged. 

[28:58] Instead of Drew trying to protect himself or his girlfriend by avoiding or hiding the situation, he can be vulnerable and honest about it. He acknowledges that when things suck, he can share it with his girlfriend so they can have those awkward and embarrassing moments together - things can suck together.

[39:38] Session Ends. 

[34:26] Meredith appreciated Doug’s radical acceptance of Drew feeling tired of his job. They discuss how when you are at a job you really love, you can still be tired but feel fulfilled instead of drained. 

[37:51] Doug and Meredith talk about boundaries vs. rules. We set up boundaries for what we are willing to do and not do, while rules actually give up our power because it makes it contingent on the other person’s behavior. 

[42:24] Doug loves a good baseball analogy, and Meredith liked the “strike 3” approach to Drew feeling manipulated by the woman breaking a promise about the Palm Springs house. 

[44:04] When clients start to change and heal, they often outgrow or need to distance themselves from certain people in their life. This can be both empowering and sad. 

[46:54] Meredith feels for Drew trying to connect with his mom, and she would be more than happy to put his sh*tty drawings up on her fridge! 

[53:18] When we try to have control in every situation, we rob ourselves of being present in the moment, even if that moment is uncomfortable and disappointing. 

[54:48] Doug doesn’t shame Drew for using weed as a coping mechanism. He does, however, lead him to look at his choices and decide for himself if what he is doing is getting him where he wants to be.

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