Episode
29

Wild Turkeys and Rats

Andrew #29
Published on
Nov 26, 2020
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In this episode...

Doug and Meredith kick off the Thanksgiving episode with a new spin on gratitude - they name some things they are both Grateful and Hateful for right now. One thing Doug is certainly grateful for is how self-aware Drew is in this episode. Drew’s learning to just be present for all of life’s adventures, even the boring ones. Doug and Drew discuss his brother’s upcoming wedding and his new role as an usher. Drew examines why he doesn’t add his brother’s name in his phone and why he feels guarded about letting people get close. They explore the difference between being interdependent and independent.

Hosts

Doug Friedman

Doug Friedman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has spent nearly 20 years working with adults, adolescents and families with issues ranging from depression and anxiety to substance abuse, bipolar disorder and PTSD. He has supervised a program at a community mental health agency that serves severely emotionally disturbed youth and their families in Los Angeles. He continues to provide clinical supervision to therapists and associates in his private group practice, Clear Mind Full Heart in Los Angeles.

Doug received a Masters in Social Work from The Catholic University of America and a BA in Study of Religion from UCLA. Before becoming a psychotherapist, Doug worked for a music management company that oversaw bands like Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys, and Bonnie Raitt. Doug is also the artist and songwriter behind all the music heard on the podcast.

Meredith Levy

Meredith Levy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Over the last ten years she has worked with many different populations, and feels most at home working in addiction, personality disorders and mood disorders. Meredith specializes in Dialectical
Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Meredith worked with inner-city youth as a bi-lingual therapist for the Department of Mental Health in Los Angeles County. Not only has Meredith worked at a variety of different drug and alcohol treatment centers throughout California, she was also the co- founder of a large treatment facility in Northern California.

Meredith's extensive education and background as an attorney and an MBA gives her a unique perspective and a fresh approach to elevating personal growth. In addition, she is a certified yoga instructor and believes that the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of the self are important components of the therapeutic process.

Key Takeaways

[2:05] Doug and Meredith talk about the Hateful and Grateful side of life this Thanksgiving. Doug almost gets taken down by a posse of wild turkeys and Meredith senses a rat in the house. 

[7:15] Session Begins.

[8:42] Doug and Drew discuss how being present during an experience can be the real adventure. Staying up until 3am and going on adrenaline inducing trips are fun, but sometimes the thing in life that gives us the most growth is just living in the experience and not being ruled by a certain outcome. 

[13:40] Drew remembers his thoughts about writing a letter to his brother and Doug highlights that he didn’t even need to send it. It’s more just about the process of getting the emotions out of his head and onto the paper.

[14:44] Drew and Doug dig in to the emotional component behind him not adding his brother and other people in his life as saved names in his phone, and leaving them instead as numbers. His belief that everyone eventually leaves has him keeping up a protective barrier in case they leave or hurt him. 

[16:27] The true mark of processing emotions is when we aren’t as triggered. Just having people as a number instead of a name in your phone shows there is still some sort of wall. Doug helps Drew see that there may be a time when his brother calls him and his first feeling is neutrality rather than anxiety. 

[18:38] Drew has really learned and ingrained the idea that it’s okay to move forward with something even if he is scared. He feels the fear, but is going to do it anyway. 

[20:33] Drew is learning how to be independent from his parents, even if he is somewhat reliant on them occasionally for financial help - and that can be interdependence.

[22;15] Drew is going to be an usher in his brother’s wedding, but doesn’t really know what being an usher even means! Whatever it is, he acknowledges feeling fear and is committed to moving forward and being present to see what unfolds. 

[29:15] Drew is getting better at setting boundaries and saying what he wants because it’s important to him, rather than trying to appease and be there for other people.  

[30:08] Drew is focusing on what’s right in front of him for now - work, his project, and the wedding. 

[31:23] Session ends. 

[31:48] Meredith is impressed with Drew’s new mentality about telling people what he wants to say rather than telling them what they want to hear. 

[36:50] She loved that he said yes to being an usher without knowing what an usher does! Doug knew she would pick up on that!

[38:54] Since Drew and his brother have unresolved issues, a phone call from him seems loaded with so much possibility that it gives him anxiety. 

[41:25] If it’s just a number and not a name, it’s a protection. Drew realized he did it to his mom and changed her in his phone from “mom” to her actual name to put a buffer between them. 

[47:40] Drew is looking for a supportive team in work and life. Doug will be helping him more with feeling independent, focusing on what’s right in front of him, and knowing there are many possible outcomes of every scenario.

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