Hot Toddy in the Lodge

Drew #28
Published on
Nov 19, 2020
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In this episode...

This week, Doug shares an update on his Colorado trip and names his top three pet peeves about snowy weather. Meredith gears up for a ski trip and wonders how rushed her hot toddy time will be. In the session, Doug and Drew talk about the Adventure vs. Challenge mentality, and how Drew can benefit by softening up and enjoying the experience of his brother’s wedding without any expectations. In the breakdown, Meredith and Doug discuss the ways that things can be less about “good” or “bad” and more about “effective” or “ineffective.” They notice that Drew is starting to rely less on certain coping mechanisms while learning to accept what comes in the present moment.


Kenzie Jenest
Bonnie Rae

Bonnie is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles. She is an instructor for graduate students in the LGBT Specialization Psychology program at Antioch University. Although her specialty is working with the LGBTQ community and people in the entertainment industry, she also assists clients in managing and/or overcoming anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, painful relationship patterns, creative blocks, co-dependency, love and sex addiction, issues with intimacy and low self-esteem.

Bonnie received a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from Emerson College and a Masters in Clinical Psychology degree from Antioch University with a specialization in LGBT psychology.

Doug Friedman

Doug Friedman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has spent nearly 20 years working with adults, adolescents and families with issues ranging from depression and anxiety to substance abuse, bipolar disorder and PTSD. He has supervised a program at a community mental health agency that serves severely emotionally disturbed youth and their families in Los Angeles. He continues to provide clinical supervision to therapists and associates in his private group practice, Clear Mind Full Heart in Los Angeles.

Doug received a Masters in Social Work from The Catholic University of America and a BA in Study of Religion from UCLA. Before becoming a psychotherapist, Doug worked for a music management company that oversaw bands like Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys, and Bonnie Raitt. Doug is also the artist and songwriter behind all the music heard on the podcast.

Meredith Levy

Meredith Levy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Over the last ten years she has worked with many different populations, and feels most at home working in addiction, personality disorders and mood disorders. Meredith specializes in Dialectical
Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Meredith worked with inner-city youth as a bi-lingual therapist for the Department of Mental Health in Los Angeles County. Not only has Meredith worked at a variety of different drug and alcohol treatment centers throughout California, she was also the co- founder of a large treatment facility in Northern California.

Meredith's extensive education and background as an attorney and an MBA gives her a unique perspective and a fresh approach to elevating personal growth. In addition, she is a certified yoga instructor and believes that the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of the self are important components of the therapeutic process.

Key Takeaways

[1:41] Doug names his top three pet peeves about snowy weather. Walking on ice is like walking on eggshells!

[5:41] We talk about what skiing may look like in a pandemic. Meredith is bummed that her hot toddy time in the lodge may be cut short. 

[9:25] Session Begins. 

[9:30] Drew is gearing up for his brother’s wedding in a few weeks. He wants to feel more present, calm, and free to live in the moment. 

[12:49] Doug and Drew discuss how Drew’s routine right now isn’t bad, it’s just ineffective.

[16:11] Doug explains the Challenge vs. Adventure mentality. Drew wants to aim more for the Adventure mentality so he is less rooted in a certain outcome and more available to enjoy the ride of the experience.

[22:34] Where there is fear there is courage. Drew gears up to be open to learn more things and the competence from putting time and effort in new things will turn into confidence over time. 

[25:34] Courage comes from doing, then we become present to the adventure. Part of the adventure is failing sometimes too. Drew is just starting to get used to the idea that sometimes the unknown can be fun. 

[26:30] Doug encourages Drew to look at the wedding from a standpoint of choosing to be there rather than an obligation to be at an event that needs to be perfect.

[29:50] Doug uses a camping trip with the dudes to highlight the Challenge vs. Adventure mentality. 

[33:40] Session Ends.

[35:24] Meredith picked up on Drew saying that he smokes weed because he can. She and Doug discuss her motto of “whatever works” in terms of habits that make a client feel good and also may not be the healthiest. 

[46:28] Effective and ineffective instead of good and bad. Meredith was happy that Drew picked up on this. 

[51:10] Slices of the pie - we have so many different parts to us. Blend the wild guy and church going guy. 

[58:28] The therapy journey is about being authentic and feeling good about being a human, whatever that means to you. 

[1:00:02] Sometimes just knowing you have something with you to quell your anxiety with you is enough, without actually needing to use it. Drew may not need to smoke weed during his brother’s wedding, but just knowing he can, may serve as a way to keep him feeling calm.

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