Doug is back in LA and missing the mountains. Meredith realizes it may be time for all of us to get a car wash (especially Doug!). In the session, Drew and Doug get into a heavy conversation as Drew details how a party with his new girlfriend went way wrong. Drew shows major growth by choosing when to have and not have a “tough conversation” with people. Drew acknowledged that the fight at the party triggered past trauma and feelings of being unsafe. Drew is able to have some real talks with his girlfriend about boundaries while the caution flags are already starting to fly
Doug Friedman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has spent nearly 20 years working with adults, adolescents and families with issues ranging from depression and anxiety to substance abuse, bipolar disorder and PTSD. He has supervised a program at a community mental health agency that serves severely emotionally disturbed youth and their families in Los Angeles. He continues to provide clinical supervision to therapists and associates in his private group practice, Clear Mind Full Heart in Los Angeles.
Doug received a Masters in Social Work from The Catholic University of America and a BA in Study of Religion from UCLA. Before becoming a psychotherapist, Doug worked for a music management company that oversaw bands like Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys, and Bonnie Raitt. Doug is also the artist and songwriter behind all the music heard on the podcast.
Meredith Levy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Over the last ten years she has worked with many different populations, and feels most at home working in addiction, personality disorders and mood disorders. Meredith specializes in Dialectical
Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Meredith worked with inner-city youth as a bi-lingual therapist for the Department of Mental Health in Los Angeles County. Not only has Meredith worked at a variety of different drug and alcohol treatment centers throughout California, she was also the co- founder of a large treatment facility in Northern California.
Meredith's extensive education and background as an attorney and an MBA gives her a unique perspective and a fresh approach to elevating personal growth. In addition, she is a certified yoga instructor and believes that the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of the self are important components of the therapeutic process.
[1:58] Doug is back in LA! He misses the mountains and snow, but he can’t wait to get in the studio and record some new tunes.
[6:17] Session Begins.
[6:25] Drew tells Doug about his new gig. It’s not his dream job, but it pays the rent and it’s putting some money in his pocket right now.
[8:32] Drew tells a story about a fight that broke out at a party he was at with his new girlfriend. It brings up major issues of trust and safety, and Doug notices he is definitely still in adrenaline pumping survival mode.
[12:25] Doug helps Drew check in with his own feelings first before taking care of others.
[14:46] They discuss the difference between red flags and caution flags, and how caution flags can evolve over time and help us to decide whether or not a relationship or situation is right for us.
[17:24] Drew feels relief that he could bring up some concerns with his girlfriend about her drinking. He says that she showed care for him in how she responded. Doug also points out that he is channeling his Green Beret by feeling capable to have tough conversations without a ton of preparation.
[26:52] Even if things feel uncertain right now, Drew feels balanced and solid across the board.
[28:29] Session Ends.
[31:10] Doug could tell during the session that Drew’s system was still jacked up from the party incident. Doug and Mer explain how our body floods us with adrenaline to keep us safe, but then we stay in alert mode even after the traumatic event is over.
[34:18] Doug and Mer acknowledge that it can be hard directly asking clients how they feel, so things like the Feelings Wheel and asking them to name their emotions can be more effective. Clients can also deny their feelings or want to battle with the therapist to create a certain relationship pattern.
[37:49] Meredith needs some flag analogy clarification! What’s with the yellow, red, caution, and blue flags?
[41:25] Meredith loves how Drew pushed back about drinking Sprite and pomegranate at a party - it was authentic and wasn’t about him fronting or trying to people please. Correcting your therapist can be wonderful because you get to what’s actually real.
[48:05] Meredith and Doug both noted a lot of growth in how Drew did not react right away to his friend’s call or his group text apology.
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