Be My Cherry on Top, Not My Ice Cream

Drew #17
Published on
May 28, 2020
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In this episode...

This week, Mer and Doug are coping with quarantine and testing their geography skills with a US map quiz. In the session, Drew’s last day at work is coming up and he has nothing going on, which makes him feel anxious. Drew and Doug explore trust issues that have come up in work relationships and his personal relationships. They look at ways to have a conversation with people rather than leaving something important unsaid. Doug and Meredith talk about individuating - the process of separating from family and becoming your own person.


Kenzie Jenest
Bonnie Rae

Bonnie is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles. She is an instructor for graduate students in the LGBT Specialization Psychology program at Antioch University. Although her specialty is working with the LGBTQ community and people in the entertainment industry, she also assists clients in managing and/or overcoming anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, painful relationship patterns, creative blocks, co-dependency, love and sex addiction, issues with intimacy and low self-esteem.

Bonnie received a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from Emerson College and a Masters in Clinical Psychology degree from Antioch University with a specialization in LGBT psychology.

Doug Friedman

Doug Friedman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has spent nearly 20 years working with adults, adolescents and families with issues ranging from depression and anxiety to substance abuse, bipolar disorder and PTSD. He has supervised a program at a community mental health agency that serves severely emotionally disturbed youth and their families in Los Angeles. He continues to provide clinical supervision to therapists and associates in his private group practice, Clear Mind Full Heart in Los Angeles.

Doug received a Masters in Social Work from The Catholic University of America and a BA in Study of Religion from UCLA. Before becoming a psychotherapist, Doug worked for a music management company that oversaw bands like Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys, and Bonnie Raitt. Doug is also the artist and songwriter behind all the music heard on the podcast.

Meredith Levy

Meredith Levy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Over the last ten years she has worked with many different populations, and feels most at home working in addiction, personality disorders and mood disorders. Meredith specializes in Dialectical
Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Meredith worked with inner-city youth as a bi-lingual therapist for the Department of Mental Health in Los Angeles County. Not only has Meredith worked at a variety of different drug and alcohol treatment centers throughout California, she was also the co- founder of a large treatment facility in Northern California.

Meredith's extensive education and background as an attorney and an MBA gives her a unique perspective and a fresh approach to elevating personal growth. In addition, she is a certified yoga instructor and believes that the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of the self are important components of the therapeutic process.

Key Takeaways

[7:53] Doug explains that taking out some identifying information from the sesion made this a shorter one on the podcast.

[9:33] Session begins

[12:09] Drew is in a limbo state between leaving the old job and starting his new one. He’s trying to give himself a break but it’s hard not to take action.

[14:41] Drew is able to name the emotions that are coming up for him.

[17:36] Doug and Drew explore how to have a conversation with someone about issues that come up in the relationship. We can move towards the discomfort and get clarity rather than run from it and leave an unspoken elephant in the room. 

[21:36] Drew is feeling more confident in himself as an individual, but not very confident or validated in his relationship right now.

[27:46] Doug gives Drew the Missing Piece books to highlight interdependence vs codependence and independence. (Check out Insight Out #5 on the Missing Piece books!)

[29:54] Session ends. Breakdown begins

[33:44] Doug and Meredith talk about individuating - the process of separating from family and becoming your own person. 

[38:22] Meredith looks at the issue of Drew’s girlfriend not being open about their relationship, especially to her dad.

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