This week, Doug and Meredith talk about how our relationship with time can create pressure and affect our level of stress. They also talk about hiking, napping, and glamping to get away from it all! In the session, Drew continues to process his recent breakup and he feels a definite shift in perspective. He shows more strength in carving his own path and making his own choices. In the breakdown, Meredith and Doug dive deeper into anger - how it isn’t necessarily easier for everyone to express, and how there are almost always other emotions behind the anger.
Bonnie is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles. She is an instructor for graduate students in the LGBT Specialization Psychology program at Antioch University. Although her specialty is working with the LGBTQ community and people in the entertainment industry, she also assists clients in managing and/or overcoming anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, painful relationship patterns, creative blocks, co-dependency, love and sex addiction, issues with intimacy and low self-esteem.
Bonnie received a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from Emerson College and a Masters in Clinical Psychology degree from Antioch University with a specialization in LGBT psychology.
Doug Friedman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has spent nearly 20 years working with adults, adolescents and families with issues ranging from depression and anxiety to substance abuse, bipolar disorder and PTSD. He has supervised a program at a community mental health agency that serves severely emotionally disturbed youth and their families in Los Angeles. He continues to provide clinical supervision to therapists and associates in his private group practice, Clear Mind Full Heart in Los Angeles.
Doug received a Masters in Social Work from The Catholic University of America and a BA in Study of Religion from UCLA. Before becoming a psychotherapist, Doug worked for a music management company that oversaw bands like Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys, and Bonnie Raitt. Doug is also the artist and songwriter behind all the music heard on the podcast.
Meredith Levy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Over the last ten years she has worked with many different populations, and feels most at home working in addiction, personality disorders and mood disorders. Meredith specializes in Dialectical
Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Meredith worked with inner-city youth as a bi-lingual therapist for the Department of Mental Health in Los Angeles County. Not only has Meredith worked at a variety of different drug and alcohol treatment centers throughout California, she was also the co- founder of a large treatment facility in Northern California.
Meredith's extensive education and background as an attorney and an MBA gives her a unique perspective and a fresh approach to elevating personal growth. In addition, she is a certified yoga instructor and believes that the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of the self are important components of the therapeutic process.
[0:23] Doug and Meredith talk about readiness to get back to their old routine. They explore our relationship with time, and the stress and pressure that comes along with it.
[2:34] Doug loves going into the mountains and camping, but not sleeping on the floor! MerMer talks glamping.
[7:30] Session begins
[8:02] Drew is feeling a little better, and hooked up with a girl from his old work (where his ex still works!). Drew talks to his ex and recognizes a repeat of some patterns in his life. Doug marks how Drew was setting a boundary.
[11:07] Doug marks something Drew says by putting a pin in it and says they’ll circle back to it.
[12:38] Doug channels a clichéd therapist to ask Drew, “How does it feel?”
[16:18] Doug comes back to the thing he put a pin in earlier - Drew taking care of everybody else (and not himself). Drew realizes that “it’s not my fault,” and that his ex’s issues are hers, not his.
[18:18] Drew’s perspective is shifting to his own life and that allows him to look for what he needs and wants. He’s moving more toward choice and away from feelings of obligation.
[20:50] Drew acknowledges that this is the first big event he’s gone through without relying on a vice to cope. Doug points out that he’s also allowed himself to feel what comes up during this process.
[22:01] Doug and Drew explore his pattern of valuing what he has to offer someone to feel needed or wanted. They look at offering yourself authentically as opposed to offering something tangible.
[29:16] Doug explains that anger is often a secondary emotion - and that there’s almost always something else behind it.
[33:45] Drew felt good when he stood on his own two feet with friends rather than feeling like he had to go along with what they were doing to fit in. Doug tells a story about literally taking your own trail rather than following someone else’s.
[37:30] Session ends. Breakdown begins
[41:23] Meredith validates Drew’s experience and can still relate to how Drew’s ex might feel about him hooking up with someone from their work.
[46:24] How come we aren’t all as insightful as Drew? It helps to be consistent with regular therapy sessions and to remember that growth happens over time (sometimes gradually).
[48:38] Like attracts like - when you put out authenticity, authentic people are attracted to that. And Drew has been more authentic recently as the strength in himself has grown.
[54:45] Meredith and Doug dive deeper into anger - how it isn’t necessarily easier to express for everyone and how there are almost always some other emotions behind the anger.
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